Top 10 Places to Dispose of a Dead Body

Got a dead body to get rid of? Here are the Top 10 places to dispose of a dead body.

1. The Middle of the Ocean
Add some blood to the water to attract sharks and really get rid of the evidence.

2. Trash Dumpster in Another State
Law enforcement agencies are not known for their inter-district communication skills, so the body will probably be a John/Jane Doe for many years.

3. Barrel of Acid
Acid will remove fingerprints, DNA and liquefy body tissue and bones. Dump the sludge in a sewer system to cover the odor and ensure your pipes do not dissolve.

4. Pig Farm
Pigs will eat a body and bones. Make sure they are hungry and be sure they do not leave any teeth behind.

5. Lake/River
Make sure you puncture the lungs and other internal organs so they don’t fill with gas and cause the body to float to the surface. Bodies will float to the surface as they begin to decay even if you weight them down, so this point is key.

6. Bon Fire
To truly disintegrate a body you need a HOT fire and a ton of time to let it burn. Make sure you have enough fuel and an excuse as to why you are having such a big fire.

7. In the Ground
If you want to bury the body, make sure the grave is deep! Shallow graves are easy to stumble upon. Bonus tip – separate it body into several parts and burying them separately. For one thing, it’s easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. This reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.

8. Off a Cliff
The fall will cause enough damage that determining the original cause of death will be difficult. Make sure the bottom of the cliff is not accessible to humans to avoid hikers stumbling on the body.

9. Wild Animal Reserve
If you happen to have access to a wild animal reserve, such as in Africa, let the big cats of the jungle work the food chain and take care of the body for you. If you live in North America, head north to bear country.

10. Wood Chipper
Get rid of bones in one feel swoop and make identification next to impossible. Make sure that the remains are directed either out at sea, off a cliff, at a bon fire or somewhere else a bloody mess will not be noticed. If you are renting the chipper you will need to do a fantastic job of cleaning it before you return it.

Stay Brutal!

PS – Don’t be a dumb ass and commit a murder – you will get caught!